He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
