Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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