Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
