Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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