she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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