Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
