If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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