I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
