Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
