you're like a bully in the Christmas story
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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