shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
