so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize