My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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