woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
