The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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