...so i touched it.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
