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  so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.

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• My dick can do work, your dick is a dork

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:12am

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• Need some drizzle for that special mouth? - Sex Addict

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:28am

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  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:08am

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• Nope, I didn't die. I'm still here. And guess what? I told my clique that they were losers and I'm done with them now. (:

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:02am

  80 97

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• My dick makes chicks moan, you dick needs to get a loan

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:57am

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• Nah, I started at 12:40...

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:29am

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  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:45am

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  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:44am

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• My dick even smokes joints, your dick -10 points

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:21am

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• My dick, gets all the girls off, ur dick is just numb and soft

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:21am

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• Why yes. Yes you are.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:30pm

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• My dick bigger than a tree shade, ur dick look like it's 3rd grade

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:43am

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• My dick has been put to good use, your dick can barely even juice

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:49am

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• ...your dicks are tiny and you will never get laid

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:14am

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  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:40am

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• My dick fucked the whole population, your dick needs a consultation

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:00am

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  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:45am

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• My dick costs a late night fee, your dick has the HIV

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:38am

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• Dude. What is with all these my dicks? Well you know what? My dick is like super size, your dick look like 2 fries! Oh and im a chick, BYTHEWAY - Mattie!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 11:57am

  60 73

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• my dick cost a late night fee, yo dick gots the HIV

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:07am

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• My dick is a leader, your dick is milimeter

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:50am

  62 77

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• my dick loves to fuck, you dick needs more luck

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:17am

  62 77

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• i left a water bottle full of vodka in the fridge and my friend gulped it down on accident. also i was at my friends apartment and thirsty and ended up doing the same thing. this does happen.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:23am

  55 64

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• I know, it's fun, I just made up 12:40 and 12:41

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:42am

  69 93

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• My dick can be used as a weapon, your dick needs a lesson

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:19am

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• My dick, USDA Approved, ur dick not even fast food

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:56am

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• my dick benched 350, yours couldnt even shoplift at thriftys

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:12am

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• Oh mickey avalone how i love you

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:39am

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• My dick, has fucked more hoes than Walt Chamberlain. Yo dick, it aint even in the game.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:42am

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• My dick can stab you in the eye, your dick looks like a fly

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• My dick, dislocated her hips, ur dick look like a Fun Dip

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• My dick makes all pussys feel tight, your dick isn't even in sight.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:41am

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• Her boyfriend must be real small if she's joking on a special k bar

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:24pm

  66 89

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• hell yes. lets all get drunk in the morning

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:24pm

  62 81

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• My dick. hung like a horse. Your dick keeps gettig worse

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:52am

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  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:15am

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  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:11am

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• my dick is supersized, you dick looks like two fries

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:11am

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• i love drinking as soon as i wake up

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 7:41pm

  67 96

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• My dick is VIP, your dick needs ID

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:20am

  65 92

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• Story of my lifeeeee

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 3:44pm

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• My dick, is more loved than tom brady. Yo dick, aint never seen a lady.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:47am

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• When full erect, my penis spans a full 3 inches

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:23am

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• Ma dick strikes oil in the morning, ya dick is stupid and boring.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 9:08am

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  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:30am

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  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:32am

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• Why did you only spell "two" correctly the third time? -D

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:33pm

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  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:42am

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  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:48am

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• U people MADE my night! Thanx! Rock on

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 3:08am

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• My dick is a mac, your dick is a pc pick up the slack

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:37am

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• My dick fucks and never quits, your dick just sucks other dicks.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 11:12am

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• My dick, keeps poundin the cervix, ur dick look flaccid and nervous

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:55am

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• My dick, keep girls wantin action, ur dick ain't even worth a fraction

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:54am

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  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:53am

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• my dick is large and in charge, your dick seems to be locked behind bars

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:44am

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• My dick can stick it in your ass, your dick has no class

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:31am

  62 98

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• My dick fucked your wife, your dick sucks at life.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:47am

  55 84

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• LBR... againnn. nawt suprisinnnng at awl.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:26pm

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• my dick fucks big ol' titties, your dick fucks little kiddies

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:36am

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• I'm white too, doesn't matter...I do have a rap album on iTunes though..

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:02am

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  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:27am

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  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:22am

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• My dick is always hard, your dick is a fucking tub of lard

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:45am

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  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:40am

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• My dick, rumble in the jungle. Yo dick, got touched by yo uncle.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:04am

  59 95

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• no really, thats terrible. like super fml moment, all you wanna do is not choke and die and then you add not get alcohol poisoning? D:

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 11, 09 at 9:16am

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• My dick has been all around, you dick cant even create a sound

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:48am

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  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:26am

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• My dick brings all the boys to the yard... O_O

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 10:56am

  57 94

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• I get it! One would expect to find some water in a bottle in the morning but it turns out it was leftover liquor from the night before! What happenstance! -Dewey

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:34am

  61 102

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• i smoked to joints in the morning, i smoked to joints at night i smoked two joints before i smoked to joints... it makes me feel ALL RIGHT! :)

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:30pm

  60 100

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• My dick is so large it has its own name, your dick puts all dicks to shame.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:39am

  63 107

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• my dick is so fucking massive, yours is shy and passive

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:17am

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• My dick can shotgun a bottle of whiskey, Yo dick takes 3 days to get frisky

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:02pm

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• My dick, got voted The Prettiest, ur dick got voted as Wittiest

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:15am

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• My dick, cut harder than a diamond, ur dick can't even break the hymen

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:48am

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• My dick, fits snug and cozy, ur dick looks ugly like Rosie

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:28am

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• my dick fucks all the women, your dick can't even get em! i've done like half of these haha

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:22am

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• My dick has massive balls, your dick is stuck behind walls

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:31am

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• My dick can save lives, your dick has hives

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:30am

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• My dick needs a king size bed, your dick never even got head

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:04am

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• My dick fucks someone everyday, you dick is lost in a pile of hay.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:51am

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• My dick has a high IQ your smells like poo

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:38am

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• My dick, Clint Eastwood scary, ur dick just Dirty and Hairy

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:04am

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• My dick makes all the girls cum, your dick is small and dumb

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:34am

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• Comments > actual text

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:49am

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• Fucking beyond lame!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:44am

  55 96

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• My dick can slap you in the face, your dick i can't even trace

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:22am

  47 81

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• all of your dicks are probably worthless and my once throbbing pussy is now officially scared of the short, hairy mess in your pants. just sayin.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:09am

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• My dick, got a big ass shaft, ur dick play World of Warcraft

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:51am

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• My dick nobody can hate, your dick isnt even straight

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:40am

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• IM A GIRL I DONT HAVE A DICK

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:18am

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• my dick loves to travel, your dick looks like gravel

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:45am

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• My dick, use 2 hands to cum, ur dick just a finger and a thumb

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:05am

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• I'll rap battle anyone...give me 4 words

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:30am

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• My dick, got a standin ovation, ur dick got a burnin sensation

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:41am

  58 106

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• I believe i'm an expert at about 75% of these

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:03am

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• My dick is bigger than a plane, you dick never even came

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:37am

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• it is, it really is. i googled "how to be popular" and it said "dont spell anything correctly". so im not an L R!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:36pm

  47 84

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• My dick can't even hide, your dick must have died.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:02am

  56 103

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• My dick, barely fits in the ocean, ur dick gets fucked with lotion

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:44am

  65 121

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• This one is more than retarded, I'm drunk and I know that I would hate it in any state of mind... How did it get published!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:19am

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• Wow great story you should tell that at parties!!! Maybe next year..... but prolly not!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:58pm

  59 109

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• My dick, double digits long, ur dick doesn't even belong

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:02am

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• Charles Rutherford thinks you lack originality and look like Gary Coleman!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:12am

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• If you thought that was funny, be sure to tune in to Lopez Tonight on TBS at 11/10c. It's really THAT funny!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:54pm

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• My dick has its own record label, your dick isnt even stable

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:40am

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• My dick has its own job, your dick cant even throb

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:14am

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• My dick makes pussys get wet, your dick isn't even set

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:07am

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• I've posted 11 originals since 12:40, I use the my dick/ur dick

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:12am

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• My dick likes to get in fights, your dick is scared of heights

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:25am

  49 92

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• My dick made me dinner, your dick looks so much thinner

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:01am

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• My dick has fee's that are due, your dick needs a tweezer dude

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:06am

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• I'm actually a girl doing this.. haha

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:34am

  55 106

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• My dick gets sucked all the time, your dick isn't even prime

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:23am

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• My dick, so heavy it hangs, ur dick look like a sex change

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:42am

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• My dick can sit in a chair, your dick wouldnt even dare

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:37am

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• My dick, bigger than Tommy Lee, ur dick u let mommy see

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:24am

  54 108

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• My dick, stay hard like Tequila, ur dick, worked on by Bob Vila

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:02am

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• Whered clique girl go? I LOVE HER!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:59pm

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• My dick, tastes good like Borden's, ur dick tastes salty like Morton's

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:31am

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  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:31am

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  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:50am

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• My dick is sick and dangerous, your dick is quick and painless

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:10am

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• My dick, is busy getting laid. Yo dick, wont ever make the grade.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:48am

  45 96

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• My dick is always horny, your dick is really fucking corny

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:47am

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• My dick fucked your mom, your dick fucked dom

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:26am

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• My dick has all the power, your dick isnt even flowered

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:09am

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• My dick drags when i walk, your dick can't even talk

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:59am

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• My dick, couldn't fit in a coozie, ur dick shoot quick like an oozie

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:46am

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• My dick is smaller then my dogs

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:46am

  40 88

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• My dick, stretches her pussy walls, ur dick she can't even feel at all

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:23am

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• My dick, can populate the whole world, ur dick ain't even been inside a girl

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:50am

  53 114

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• My dick, fucked ur girlfriend to death, ur dick look addicted to Meth

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:21am

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• My dick can squirt across the room, your dick is ready for its tomb.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:50am

  53 116

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• :( talk to me D.. :'( -Jenna

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:35pm

  45 100

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• My dick bigger than a plasma, ur dick so weak it got asthma

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:41am

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• speeeelling correctlay is so last year. hawwnestllly.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:34pm

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• Ma dick carries a load, ya dick looks like a chode.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 9:09am

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• My dick does some damage, your dick needs a bandage

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:09am

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• breakfast of champions

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:24pm

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• My dick never gets cold, your dick you cant even hold

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:26am

  40 113

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