I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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