and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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