even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
