road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
