You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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