ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
