Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize