So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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