You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
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