I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize