you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
