Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
