I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
