the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
