i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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