oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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