bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
