Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
