bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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