she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
