I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
