Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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