I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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