i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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