brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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