I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
