Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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