I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
