Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i was born a porn star she said
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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