You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
