I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
