awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize