love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
