it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
