I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
