I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
