Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
