That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
