but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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