last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I smell like Dick and happiness
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
