Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
