I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
