we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
