I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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