also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
