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  My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?

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• Life. You're doing it wrong.

  Submitted by baldhead_krillin on Dec 4, 12 at 1:56pm

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• Wtf??

  Submitted by iso on Dec 4, 12 at 1:39pm

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• 34 year old virgin?

  Submitted by ck24 on Dec 4, 12 at 2:33pm

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• Did you beat it like it broke into your house, or what?

  Submitted by porksword on Dec 4, 12 at 7:52pm

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• That's your goal on birthday? Pathetic

  Submitted by Xtasty on Feb 22, 13 at 7:44am

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• pussy

  Submitted by bombsquad907 on Dec 4, 12 at 1:21pm

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• ET says "0uch".

  Submitted by kin_in_in on Dec 4, 12 at 5:25pm

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• Do you mind? We're trying to have a society here.

  Submitted by jbwarner86 on Dec 6, 12 at 3:47pm

  103 92

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• www.fleshlight.com

  Submitted by cfreymarc on Dec 5, 12 at 12:38am

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• Perhaps you should have chosen to fart 34 timed instead, then those backfires would have been productive.

  Submitted by DavidWnC on Dec 4, 12 at 7:26pm

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• No life but masterbating

  Submitted by Nuku3T on Dec 5, 12 at 12:04am

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