big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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