I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
and you fell through a lawn chair
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
