he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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