I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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