you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
