if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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