Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
