We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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