Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
