so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
