When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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