apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Hippo gnu deer
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
